It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
