WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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