I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
