There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
