IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
