So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
