My nipple is on Facebook.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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