ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
MIDGETS
????
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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