We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
