Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
