Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
