Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
