Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
