doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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