When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
