My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
