Someone shit on the floor
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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