You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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