It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
