So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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