I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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