he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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