so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
