Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
someone owes me an orgasm
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
