your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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