Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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