just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
