3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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