I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
