Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
