some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
