So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
