I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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