girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Farmville is her only friend.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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