that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
