I hope mine doesn't look like that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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