You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
