the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just forgot I was standing up.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
