I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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