Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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