Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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