Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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