Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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