Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
