and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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