fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
