At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
