are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
