And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
