To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
